The Griffin Chronicle

How Many Holes Does a Straw Have?

Max Hawk, Staff Writer

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While the discussion of how many holes are in a straw may seem simple due to the clear answer, there are some who choose to contest the logic granted by common sense.

In objects such as a straw or donut that have one hole that goes all the way through, some plebeians desire to believe that each side of the hole should be considered an entirely different entity. No, I’m not joking, this is actually an argument presented by masochists who desire to be laughed at by the rational, level-headed individuals of society.

This argument has no ground to stand on. A straw has a single cavernous space inside of it, meaning that it has one hole. If the space in the middle of the straw was not solid, which would render the tool utterly useless, then it would be plausible to state that it has two holes. However, this is not the case. The straw is hollow, and this ensures that only a single hole can exist within it. If you really wanted to explore the technicalities of a straw’s form, you might be able to offer a suggestion that the straw has two entrances to the same hole, and this results in the same conclusion: a straw has one hole.

This statement is even more obvious when examining a donut because for some strange reason, people equate a change in length with a change in basic geometry. I mean, each little ball of frosted dough is referred to as a donut hole; you only say donut holes if you have more than one. So if you have two donuts, or two straws, then you have two holes. Unless that precise scenario is the case, there is simply one hole per object.

Unless you want to be mocked for rambling mindlessly about the theoretical, and false, possibility of a straw having two holes, you should accept the reality that they only have one hole apiece.

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How Many Holes Does a Straw Have?