The Griffin Chronicle

Dear Vending Machines

Rylee Burchett, Staff Writer

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Vending Machines.

The term evokes memories of an oasis away from class and the darkest depths of the crippling hunger of teenage life. Or, rather, it should. And did, until last year. Last year, the world came crumbling down like a bag of crunchy and delicious Chips Ahoy, and the reason? Our school’s vending machines. The vending machines of Los Alamitos High School used to be a home away from home, a safe haven, a Nirvana filled with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Rice Krispie Treats, ice cream, and candy of any variety you can imagine. But now? Well. Now we see how even the most magnificent empires can crumble, as we go to the vending machine in hopes of treating ourselves to a delicious snack, only to find nothing but mini bags of whole wheat, whole grain, unsalted despair. High school life is now hopeless, meaningless, and without any salvation from the dreary torture the student body endures from bell to bell. It feels as though every time I go to check the snacks in the vending machines, my options grow more and more depressing each time. Whole wheat, whole grain, unsweetened Rice Krispie Treats? What’s next; packaged, no-fat air!? How far is this going to go!? What is this madness that we, the poor, hungry student body, are forced to endure to keep ourselves alive!? This isn’t sustenance. It’s pathetic-stenance. We shouldn’t have to put up with this sad, hopeless life. If I want to consume my weight in sugar every day and die of a heart attack at 43, then that decision should be entirely my own! But yet we put up with this criminal injustice. Until someone rises up to say, “This is disgusting! Give me cavities or give me death!” Then, unfortunately, this limbo shall continue. What will we do, then?


2 Responses to “Dear Vending Machines”

  1. Shelby on October 13th, 2017 2:48 pm

    I heard there’s a guy that sells ice cream on campus out of his lunch bag. I believe his name is Bruster


  2. Alexis on November 9th, 2017 6:33 pm

    Okay this is the best article I’ve ever read in my life! give me cavities or give me death is my new life motto !!!!!


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Dear Vending Machines